Humans can't be near the sun

I know I'm not made of stone. I tend to hold grudges, and don't know how to express my anger with words. I take things personal. Those are (some of) my faults. I don't like to have them, so I work on minimizing them. I try being as objective as possible, forgiving, putting my thoughts to words and thinking about the purpose of some comments. I know when I do something wrong, because of this feeling I get inside of me, that's like someone tugging my sleeve telling me to go back and undo everything at that very moment. I didn't get that feeling recently.

Everything had been seen before: behavior pattern, responses, and results. It was like watching a group of dominoes lined up, one before the other; you know what will happen if you push the first, so it falls on the second, and so on and so forth. I understood what I saw as a typical response that I denied from existing. I knew that whatever I said would lead to this. Off I went to set my dominoes, one after the other.... All 18 of them, lined up. Let's see what happens when someone pushes one...

... Dominoes down...

I realized that putting all my chips on the table, setting them neatly, making amusing shapes, and sequences did not help. The end result was that all of them went down. 18 or 2, whatever number, it didn't matter.

Metaphors aside, I realized that talking clearly, establishing limits, and all other things are sometimes disregarded and might also be insulting. Also that, my faults and the fact that I work on them to disappear make me human. Some people can't stand having faults, it takes from their shine; makes them dull. That's why I decided that I can't be near them, they are too much, and I'm only human.