Lines of Time (revisited)

I wanted to discuss the subject of my last post again. The last few days I've been having problems with stress relief, and I also have noticed that I'm not enjoying where I am at that much. Everything is pretty much predictable, and the lack of sleep I've suffered from last week doesn't help me judge clearly and make decisions as I would prefer to. It doesn't seem like it, but there's a commonplace with the fore mentioned and my last post.

The last post had to do with me recognizing how I felt bad about not doodling/drawing, and also dealing with the fact that there are things I have to leave out of my life since I feel that I should start adjusting things in it, naturally, to avoid having some awkward stage where I try to relive my youth.

So now I feel that I worry way too much. That same worry about me not doing something I don't approve keeps me from living experiences that I will/have regret/ted, and in turn will make me want to do them if I get to a desperate point. As if I didn't know any better (and now I might be way too hard on myself). Judging things from my point of view is not a good call, and I realized what the main reason that keeps me from doing the things I want to do: distractions.

I tend to have these ideas about any subject in particular, but I don't follow through (2009 posts for example) and wind up with a self-deprecating attitude about lack of discipline. Which is justified, since I should focus on something if I truly crave it. So the Lines of Time post wasn't really complete; I don't establish any boundaries to what I can do, I just go with it until I'm happy with the results. I know that people have their opinions, but it's really nothing that I can do with right now, and rather do without. My issue has to do with me starting something I want to do, that initial push. I can't ask anyone to help me in this (I think), but knowing what is my obstacle will help me defeat or conquer it.